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It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.
Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
I don\'t approve of political jokes... I\'ve seen too many of them get elected.
Finagle\'s Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I\'m not sure about the former.
As the post said, \'Only God can make a tree,\' probably because it\'s so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
Don\'t let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF All my base are belong to you!
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.
We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
Raymond\'s Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
The truth is more important than the facts.
We don\'t like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There\'s also a negative side
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
We didn\'t lose the game; we just ran out of time.
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
Don\'t let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
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To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn\'t cure.
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
In the begining there was nothing and God said \'Let there be light\', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it\'s fantastic.
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, \'Where have I gone wrong?\' Then a voice says to me, \'This is going to take more than one night.\'
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don\'t work, those that break down and those that get lost.
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.
You got to be careful if you don\'t know where you\'re going, because you might not get there.
Louis Pasteur\'s theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
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Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent\'s eye, that charms to destroy...
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: \'Can I help, sir?\' \'No thanks,\' says the blind bloke. \'Just looking.\'
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren\'t, then I\'d be a teacher.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
Attention to health is life\'s greatest hindrance.
There\'s many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.
A good sermon should be like a woman\'s skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called \'Ego\'.
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
Emulate your heros, but don\'t carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
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Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
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Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
Build a man a fire, and he\'ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he\'ll be warm for the rest of his life.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we\'d have a much easier time raising money.
After I\'m dead I\'d rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
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Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
I\'ve just learned about his illness. Let\'s hope it\'s nothing trivial.
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don\'t add up.
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.
I\'m living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: \'Can I help, sir?\' \'No thanks,\' says the blind bloke. \'Just looking.\'
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.
Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.
Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
A man can\'t get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
A camel is a horse designed by a committee
Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
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If you\'re sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, \'Where have I gone wrong?\' Then a voice says to me, \'This is going to take more than one night.\'
Jesus may love you, but I think you\'re garbage wrapped in skin.
I hope life isn\'t a big joke ... because I don\'t get it.
It\'s not that I\'m afraid to die, I just don\'t want to be there when it happens.
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
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Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
Sterling\'s Corollary to Clarke\'s Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I\'m not there, I go to work.
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can\'t remember what they are.
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
Gigerenzer\'s Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.
Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, \'Don\'t you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?\' I said \'I didn\'t know there were any witnesses. Now I\'ll have to kill you too\'.
I am not young enough to know everything.
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2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
I am not young enough to know everything.
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
Yes, I\'m fat, but you\'re ugly and I can go on a diet.
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
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When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
It\'s impossible to experience one\'s death objectively and still carry a tune.
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.
I\'ve just learned about his illness. Let\'s hope it\'s nothing trivial.
I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
They laughed when I said I\'d be a comedian. They aren\'t laughing now.
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
A camel is a horse designed by a committee
Humor is just another defense against the universe.
There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
Attention to health is life\'s greatest hindrance.
Whether you think that you can, or that you can\'t, you are usually right.
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they\'re yours.
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law\'s peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.
Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.
Build a man a fire, and he\'ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he\'ll be warm for the rest of his life.
Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.
I don\'t want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I\'ve only ever had one.
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don\'t add up.
Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
We don\'t make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.
A hen is only an egg?s way of making another egg.
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
Can a relafen tablet be broken in half to take?
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/27/(Fri) 02:28
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